The Wii Strikes Again

You would think I would have learned my lesson the last time I ventured down this road, but alas I find myself again in the grips of broken self-esteem and tarnished self-image.

Caleb and Jacob got me a Wii Fit for Christmas, much to my pleasant surprise. I had mentioned on more than one occasion throughout the past year that I wanted one, but I had completely forgotten about it when it came time for Christmas lists and ideas. I was very touched that they would be so thoughtful as to think of such a gift.

Tonight I just happened to have the night off work and the house to myself, so I figured what better time to try out my new toy, right? I'm so grateful I chose to wait until I had the house to myself. This is not a game to be played in the company of others.

I turned the game on and it immediately prompted me to enter my age and height, after which I had to "step up on the scale" to find my weight and then calculate my BMI. This part wasn't so bad. I'm familiar with my current height, age, and weight... no surprises there. However, the screen proceeded to explain that we would now be testing my center of balance. The instructions on the screen were simple: Stand up straight on the board with your feet shoulder width apart and balance yourself.

Easy enough, right?

After a couple moments of mustering all of my best standing skills, the Wii politefully asked me to get off, and then less-politefully told me, "Looks like the Basic Balance Test isn't your forte. Do you find yourself tripping when you walk?"

I was slightly taken aback by the Wii's lack of tact, but not entirely offended. The truth is, I do find myself tripping when I walk. Often. At least now I can chalk it up to my poor center of balance.

Still holding my head up high, I continued to finish my initial Body Test. The point of the Body Test is to determine what your current Wii Fitness Age is. I felt pretty confident about my performance in each of the activities. In fact, I might go so far as to say I was feeling smug. Upon completion, the Wii makes quite a dramatic show, complete with drum roll, before revealing your score. My current Wii Fitness Age (drum roll please) : 43.

I don't mean to offend any 43 year olds that may be reading this. I'm sure you are all very fit for your youthful age. However, as a 23 year old, I am hurt.

I went on to check out some of the training exercises that the game has to offer, since I was clearly in desperate need of some work. There was a wide array of activities to choose from, none of which are appropriate to perform in front of other human beings. As I stood alone in my living room, zealously gyrating my hips in order to keep 5 imaginary hula hoops afloat while also lunging side to side to catch more as they were thrown my way, I became painfully aware of how foolish I must look should anyone be peering through my window right at that moment.

I was reminded of this all the more when I played the game called Bird's Eye Targeting (or something similar). The point of the game is to flap your wings as quickly as you can while leaning from side to side and trying to land on various targets on screen. I was having fun with it, until I leaned too far to one side and flipped the whole balance board out from under my feet. After crashing to the floor, despite all my best flapping, I decided to try something more mellow.

I moved onto the Yoga section of the game. Having never tried any sort of yoga in my life, I chose to start with the most basic of skills... breathing. The intructions were, again, seemingly simple: first inhale, next exhale. After 1-2 minutes of breathing along with the virtual trainer on screen, I was given my score. One out of five stars with a ranking if "Newcomer".

That's right, I'm a newcomer to the art of breathing.

I've made a mental note to thank the boys again for such an encouraging and uplifting gift.

Efficiency in List Making

We all sat down as a family the other day to make our Christmas lists together. It wasn't until several days later that we looked closer at Jacob's list...

Guess Whose Uterus

Ok, due to someone's demand for more specifics, here goes...

I am 12 weeks along and due June 29th. We are so so so excited! I endured about 5 weeks of mild morning sickness, but nothing worth complaining about. I have been feeling great for the past 2 weeks. But enough of the boring details; what really deserves blog time is the story of my own mother's creativity in helping us tell the family.

We wanted to tell the boys first, so we sat them down and told them at about 8 weeks. A couple days later, we took my parents out to lunch to share the news, and also told Jason's mom the same day. About a week later (the day before Thanksgiving, in fact) was our first doctor's appointment complete with our first ultrasound picture. I had told my mom about a little idea I had to bring my picture to Thanksgiving dinner and have her facilitate a game of "Guess Whose Uterus". Given the size of our family, and the many women of child-bearing age, I figured it'd make for a fair challenge. I had no idea the extent to which my mom would run with this idea.

She proceeded to spend 2-3 days compiling and photoshopping various different pictures of the family. She meticulously zoomed in and cropped out an assortment of individual body parts from different people (all appropriate, of course) - over 50 pictures in total. She then transferred them all to a slide show that could be played one by one on our TV, and made up individual score sheets for each of us. What began as a "Guess Whose Uterus" had become "Guess Whose Nose, Ear, Foot, Cuticle...etc".

Thanksgiving Day, after we had all stuffed our bellies to the point of needing medical attention, she announced that she had prepared a game for us. She led us all into the living room, sat us down in front of the TV, passed out our scorecards, and explained the rules of the game. While I sat there marveling at the time and work she had put into this, I couldn't help wondering if all my siblings were possibly questioning whether or not my mother's last shred of sanity had finally snapped under the pressure of hosting yet another Thanksgiving. We all knew this day would come, after all...

We worked our way through each picture as they were projected across the TV, pausing to debate over each one. This game was much harder than one might imagine. You may think you know your brother's ear lobes like the back of your hand, but detach them from the rest of his head and you'd be quite surprised at their lack of familiarity.

The very last photo was, of course, our ultrasound picture. I had anticipated that everyone's first thought upon seeing it would be that someone must be pregnant. After all, we've had about 1-2 pregnancies announced a year for the past 5 years. However, much to my surprise, my siblings' first thought was that this was an old ultrasound from a current niece/nephew. In fact, Meghan and Debbie both declared that they "could figure this out" and rushed up to the TV to try and read the date. I believe the conversation went something like this:

"Ok, so Nov 2009. Well, that couldn't be Sadie... or Maya... or... hey, wait... 2009!?!?!"

Once everyone knew that someone must actually be pregnant, they proceeded to grumble impatiently (we of course played along, so as not to blow our cover) while all 50+ pictures were replayed in order to reveal their correct answers. The final photo my mom put in was one of Jason and I, and thus the secret was out.

So, to my dear Mom if you are reading this, thank you so much for making our announcement so much fun! I think we should keep this idea in mind for next time someone gets a colonoscopy or something. They send you home with pictures after a colonoscopy, right?

And in Headlines Today...

One Hour 'til the Next Harvest

Ah, this is the life. Waking up at the crack of dawn for a quick breakfast before heading out to the fields. Spending the morning out under the sun, plowing your dirt and tossing your seeds. Milking the cows, then heading over to the chicken coup to check for a fresh batch of eggs. Waiting for approximately 4 hours to 4 days for your crop to be fully grown so you can go harvest your work and start all over again...

Ok, so maybe I don't know anything about real farming. And maybe it takes slightly longer than hours or days to return a good harvest. And maybe, just maybe, real farmers are more exhausted at the end of their day than I am at the end of my 10 minute FarmVille sessions throughout the day. But I have to say, the stress is getting to be unbearable. For crying out loud, strawberries only last 8 hours before they wither away!

Ok, for those of you that have not discovered the joys of FarmVille yet, I urge you to stop reading right here. You owe it to your families to not be sucked into this downward spiraling abyss that is country-living responsibility. For those of you that still doubt, here is my story:

The other night at work, I overheard two friends discussing this application on Facebook called FarmVille. One of the friends was going on and on about how ridiculous this game was, and how her husband is just obsessed with it. She started explaining the game, and telling all about how you have this virtual farm that you have to plow, then plant seeds, then wait hours for the seeds to grow, and how if you don't harvest within a certain time your plants will wither, etc. She kept stressing the fact the she just didn't see the appeal in this game, and how stupid it sounded. As I eavesdropped, I thought to myself "This...sounds...awesome!"

I more or less forgot all about the conversation until I was perusing another friend's page on Facebook a few days later, and there it was before me... a big giant turkey icon inviting me to check out FarmVille.

I clicked on it.

My life has not been the same since. I wake in the morning worrying that my crops have withered. I fall asleep at night wondering if I should get up to harvest just one more time before I turn in. I don't look at white picket fences the same way anymore, as I know now their full value (one little section costs as much as a dairy cow! who would have thought!?).

So, if any of my friends out there are wondering why they haven't heard from me or seen me in a while, now you know. I have taken up farming. And now I must be going, for my artichokes are 99% grown, and I need to harvest them while they're good and fresh.

A Tale of Excitement, Enthusiasm, and Exhaustion

T'was the night of Halloween, and all through the house
Costumes did flourish and make-up did douse ...

Nope, just don't have the brain power to do this whole story in rhyming prose. If you are judging my lack of effort right now, please see post title and refer to E-Word #3.

We started Halloween night off strong with a Vampire and a Werewolf to create. The kids were so much fun and got so into everything, not to mention their extreme patience as we meticulously painted faces, applied Vampire bite marks, dyed hair, and glued fur to a fake bone for a somewhat gruesome side prop.

Once we were finally done getting all dressed up, we set out adventurously to the streets. The kids started out as one may expect, sprinting from house to house in an effort to overfill their pillowcases with candy in record time.

Then came the hunger, and the weariness, and the cold. Paces slowed and spirits soon began to droop. Jacob, too over-encumbered to make it any further, soon passed his furry bone to Jason to carry.

Then he passed his mask. Shortly thereafter, his gloves. And when finally he could go on no longer, he entrusted his precious candy to him as well.

Caleb followed suit not long after that.

Ok, so maybe I don't have as much reason as Jason to be exhausted.

October Comes, October Goes

Fall is perhaps one of our favorite times of year, as is evidenced here, here, and here. Unfortunately, this year we fell way behind in our Fall Festivity Extravaganza. Oh we had great aspirations, there's no question there. But do you ever have one of those days (or weeks... or months...), when all of your well laid plans just unravel before you, leaving you grasping for that fleeting loose string that ever alludes you?

We kicked off October 1st with Jason catching a terrible case of the flu. I followed 2 or 3 days after. This was no run-of-the-mill, go-about-your-day-and-pretend-you're-well common cold. This was make-up-your-will-and-say-your-farewells flu. We both spent about a week couped up, drugged up, and grumpy as can be. During that week, we watched Cider Days come and go on the calender.

When we finally started feeling as though we may actually pull through and live to see Christmas, we realized we now only had 3 weeks to fit in all the Halloween hoopla that we were so looking forward to. First on the list was a trip to our favorite pumpkin patch. We loaded into the car and headed off with visions of pumpkins and gourds and hay in our heads. We got to the beloved patch only to find that it was apparently closed this year. No problem... we would be going to a corn maze next week, and they too would have a pumpkin patch. We went to the park instead, which turned out to be a pretty fun time, as always.

A few days passed before Jason was abruptly sick all over again, with seemingly the same exact thing as before. I followed 2 or 3 days after. Another week of couped up, drugged up, and grumpy as can be (I think the kids noticed the grumpy more than us). It was during this time that we noticed a bat hanging out outside our apartment door. Though I do hate bats, and would prefer to stay as far away from them as possible, I couldn't help but thinking it may have been a little wink from God. Ya know, a little taste of Halloween fun on our doorstep. Thanks God... but next time would you mind sending a cute pumpkin instead?

The following week we were again feeling well and more than ready to go jump in some leaves or play in some hay. On our calender for this week: a hayride. On God's calender for this week: our first snow storm of the year. It was beautiful. And yep, it was also enough to cancel the hayride. All turned out well though as we instead spent the evening playing a fun computer vampire game together as a family while we watched the snow. Hey, vampires are way Halloweeny, right?

With only one week left in October, we made plans to try the corn maze again. If you live in Colorado, you know that this past week has not been ideal for venturing into a corn maze. Please see evidence below:

Day 1 of snow storm (12 inches):
Day 2 of snow storm (18 inches):

Day 3 of snow storm (24 inches):
I've got to admit, seeing this much snow outside our windows left me with nothing in the world to complain about. Sure we didn't get to do all the things we had planned, but can you imagine anything more beautiful!?!? (Have I mentioned that I love the snow more than just about anything else in the world?)

SO... My lesson learned for October 2009: Don't stress over failed plans. God obviously has something better up his sleeves (and He may even send a disease-carrying, winged rodent your way to hold you over in the meantime).

Mother's Day

In keeping with my new role of slacker blogger, I thought I'd post something that required little to no writing. This is a recent video I made for my mom. I liked how it turned out, so why not post it, right?

Parakeet Lost

Ok, so first and foremost, let me begin by offering an excuse for the unacceptable upkeep of my blog. My work recently implemented a very strict "no internet" policy. Apparently the bulk of my blog time was concentrated at work, as evidenced by my two month gaps between posts. So while there are many things for me to post about from these last few months, I'll begin by sharing a tragic story of love and loss, as requested by Meghan.

Jason's birthday was in the beginning of February. I had given the boys a few simple ideas of what he may want for his birthday, and asked them to try and think of some of their own ideas as well. However, after a family outing to the pet store for some fish food (during which Jason showed some interest in the birds), the kids had made their minds up. They wanted to get him a pet bird. I should mention here that I am actually not a fan of birds. At all. There is just something about a small creature that is both capable of "fluttering" and "pecking" at the same time that terrifies me. Oh yeah, and the talons. I don't like talons. However, much to my dismay, the kids would not be swayed in their idea. And since I knew that Jason really did want one, I gave in.

And thus, the plan was set in motion. Caleb and Jacob and I ventured out to the pet store about a week before his birthday. We spent a while reading all the "Must-Knows for Parakeets" pamphlets, then proceeded to pick out the perfect cage and accessories. On the day of Jason's birthday, we hid the cage in one of our bathtubs, and then led him all over the house on a hunt for his present. When he finally found it, the kids had made cards and put them inside the cage explaining that we would take him to the store to pick out his own bird.

Luckily, Jason was thrilled with the idea, and we immediately piled into the car- all of us in eager anticipation of our new pet-to-be (well, most of us anyway). After debating for an unbelievably long time, Jason finally settled on a grey and black parakeet (while trying to upload my pictures to my computer recently, I accidentally deleted them all instead... so this is not our actual bird, just a close resemblance). With the help of the kids, he named him Grundy. For those of you that do not live with a house full of comic book boys, Grundy is DC Universe's super-strong, zombified, mobster villain. You can see the likeness, I'm sure.

And so began our new life as bird owners...

When we got Grundy home, he was quick to warm up to us and eager to explore our apartment. (All those "Must-Knows For Parakeets" had told us that it's important to let your bird out of his cage for at least half an hour a day). Day by day, little Grundy seemed to feel more and more comfortable in his new home, and even began to perch on our fingers or shoulders on his own will. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was growing to like Grundy as well. I still don't like birds, but Grundy was ok in my book.

Then came that fateful day, only four days after bringing home the new addition to our family. Jason and I were the only ones home, and Grundy was freely exploring the apartment. Jason asked me to keep and eye on him for a few minutes while he went and took a shower. I nodded a quick "sure, yeah, whatever..." and went about my business. Grundy was peacefully perched atop our windowsill, and I was a mere 10-20 feet away finishing up the dishes.

Approximately 4 minutes after Jason had entrusted his dear new pet to my care, I heard a very brief fluttering of wings. I glanced up to check on Grundy's whereabouts, but couldn't seem to find him anywhere. After a few short moments of panic and confusion, I heard a tremendous splashing sound come from our fish aquarium, and looked to find our two largest fish flopping and flailing about in mortal fear of some unknown cause. Upon closer inspection, I was horrified to find Grundy frantically swimming laps along the top of the tank, seemingly trying to escape from the hysterical, gargantuan bala sharks below.

In the fleeting moments that followed, I mustered my inner heroic instincts and scooped Grundy out of the tank. I was sitting on the couch and cradling him in a towel when Jason emerged only 10 minutes after leaving me alone with the poor bird. His eyes darted from me, to Grundy, to the towel, to the open fish tank. Suspicion set in.

I explained what had happened, and promised that Grundy's "accident" had absolutely nothing to do with my prior avian-directed hatred. Grundy seemed more or less ok after the event, if not slightly lethargic. I tried to stress the heroic part of my story to Jason while placing Grundy back into his cage. Thinking all was well, and assured that disaster had been avoided, we headed off to work. We came home that night to find Grundy on the bottom of his cage... very dead.

I've maintained my innocence in the days following the loss of Grundy, despite great scepticism and accusations from those around me. According to the kids, "Molly defeated Daddy's birthday present" (Jason doesn't like them to say "kill" or any other such related words... it's always "Batman defeated Joker"... "Molly defeated Grundy"...etc.).

Shortly after the above events transpired, we headed back to the pet store for a second try as bird owners. This time Jason picked a yellow and green one (this picture is actually him), and together with the kids settled on the name Loki. Loki is Marvel Universe's adopted brother and enemy of Thor... just in case you didn't know. Again, the resemblance is uncanny.

I'm proud to say that Loki has been with us for over a month now with no incident. While I have lost some of my previous privileges, I have been granted supervised visits due to good behavior.

Roundtable Friday

Despite the fact that my brain has felt like exploding recently due to over use, I can’t seem to think of a single interesting thing to blog about. So for that reason, I’m going to ask anyone out there that may be reading this to answer a few questions that I’ve been meaning to ask for a while. They are random and in no way related to each other (other than the fact that they have all crossed my mind in recent days), but perhaps if someone out there can provide any answers and lay these fleeting queries to rest, then my brain will have slightly more room to think of something blogworthy.

1. How does one efficiently grocery shop for all needed items using coupons and store deals, without spending a straight week organizing said coupons, documenting said sales, and drawing up detailed blue prints of the grocery store layout? I have been trying to find my niche in this area, and I am failing miserably. I have always loved lists, and can organize with the best of ‘em, but this task has proven to be far more overwhelming than I ever imagined. Does anyone out there have any tips or magical systems for this that I could possibly use to my advantage?

2. Is it possible to make my blog prettier and break away from the standard Blogger layouts without actually paying for a new layout? Is there a certain site that people are going to that I just don’t know about? Or are all the people out there with pretty blogs just less cheap than myself and are actually paying for them?

3. How much would you pay someone to come and paint a mural on your wall? I realize the answer to this one may differ greatly depending on wall size and mural size… so for the sake of the question, let’s just say it’s a one wall mural, and takes up approximately ¾ of the standard household-sized wall. Any ball park idea of what a fair price would be for commissioned work?

4. In the end of Reservoir Dogs, did Mr. Pink die too?

5. What is tapioca made of? Really?

Thank you very much for your assistance in these matters. Perhaps if this works well I'll make it a regular Friday thing, as I spend most of my time somewhat confused and in need of answers.

For Just A Day

Today is my dad’s birthday. He passed away 7 years ago, and while I miss him deeply, I take an abundant amount of comfort in knowing that he is experiencing something now that truly makes me envious. Yet, I would be lying to say that there aren’t certain days, or moments, which make me feel the ache of missing him a little more than others.

I would never wish upon him this broken world that he’s left behind, or the broken body that he’s free of now. But I do sometimes wish he could come hang out for a just day or two. I wish he would have had the chance to meet my nieces. I know that he would take absolute joy in them. I love to picture the delight in his eyes, and the childish grin he’d be unable to contain while doting on them.

I want him to meet the man I married, and spend a day watching football together with him. I want Caleb and Jacob to go fishing with him.

I wish he could see the grace with which Meghan has grown into her role of mother, and shake hands with the godly man that she’s committed herself to. I want him see how selfless Chad is in everything he does, and see what an honorable man, father, husband, and brother he is. I want to hear him laugh with Matt, and see how excited he gets for the things that he’s passionate about.

I want to draw with him. I want him to see the Jelly Bean Machine that Chad made for me for Christmas. I want him to watch Meghan with her girls, and to see her finish a triathlon. I want him to recognize his own sense of humor and sparkle mirrored in Matt’s eyes. I want him to see the ways that he’s woven into each of us, and I want to tell him how proud it makes me to know that I’m his daughter.

I know the value of dwelling in the joy of where he’s at, rather than hanging on the ache of where he no longer is. Still, it brings a smile to my face to wish for just a day or two, bittersweet as that wish may be. And if I’m really going to be honest with myself, a tinge of that bittersweet ache may be due more in part to my jealousy than to his absence; because as much as I long to invite him into my world for just a day, oh how much greater it would be to be invited into his world- to see that what he’s seeing- for just a day.