The Wii Strikes Again

You would think I would have learned my lesson the last time I ventured down this road, but alas I find myself again in the grips of broken self-esteem and tarnished self-image.

Caleb and Jacob got me a Wii Fit for Christmas, much to my pleasant surprise. I had mentioned on more than one occasion throughout the past year that I wanted one, but I had completely forgotten about it when it came time for Christmas lists and ideas. I was very touched that they would be so thoughtful as to think of such a gift.

Tonight I just happened to have the night off work and the house to myself, so I figured what better time to try out my new toy, right? I'm so grateful I chose to wait until I had the house to myself. This is not a game to be played in the company of others.

I turned the game on and it immediately prompted me to enter my age and height, after which I had to "step up on the scale" to find my weight and then calculate my BMI. This part wasn't so bad. I'm familiar with my current height, age, and weight... no surprises there. However, the screen proceeded to explain that we would now be testing my center of balance. The instructions on the screen were simple: Stand up straight on the board with your feet shoulder width apart and balance yourself.

Easy enough, right?

After a couple moments of mustering all of my best standing skills, the Wii politefully asked me to get off, and then less-politefully told me, "Looks like the Basic Balance Test isn't your forte. Do you find yourself tripping when you walk?"

I was slightly taken aback by the Wii's lack of tact, but not entirely offended. The truth is, I do find myself tripping when I walk. Often. At least now I can chalk it up to my poor center of balance.

Still holding my head up high, I continued to finish my initial Body Test. The point of the Body Test is to determine what your current Wii Fitness Age is. I felt pretty confident about my performance in each of the activities. In fact, I might go so far as to say I was feeling smug. Upon completion, the Wii makes quite a dramatic show, complete with drum roll, before revealing your score. My current Wii Fitness Age (drum roll please) : 43.

I don't mean to offend any 43 year olds that may be reading this. I'm sure you are all very fit for your youthful age. However, as a 23 year old, I am hurt.

I went on to check out some of the training exercises that the game has to offer, since I was clearly in desperate need of some work. There was a wide array of activities to choose from, none of which are appropriate to perform in front of other human beings. As I stood alone in my living room, zealously gyrating my hips in order to keep 5 imaginary hula hoops afloat while also lunging side to side to catch more as they were thrown my way, I became painfully aware of how foolish I must look should anyone be peering through my window right at that moment.

I was reminded of this all the more when I played the game called Bird's Eye Targeting (or something similar). The point of the game is to flap your wings as quickly as you can while leaning from side to side and trying to land on various targets on screen. I was having fun with it, until I leaned too far to one side and flipped the whole balance board out from under my feet. After crashing to the floor, despite all my best flapping, I decided to try something more mellow.

I moved onto the Yoga section of the game. Having never tried any sort of yoga in my life, I chose to start with the most basic of skills... breathing. The intructions were, again, seemingly simple: first inhale, next exhale. After 1-2 minutes of breathing along with the virtual trainer on screen, I was given my score. One out of five stars with a ranking if "Newcomer".

That's right, I'm a newcomer to the art of breathing.

I've made a mental note to thank the boys again for such an encouraging and uplifting gift.

Efficiency in List Making

We all sat down as a family the other day to make our Christmas lists together. It wasn't until several days later that we looked closer at Jacob's list...

Guess Whose Uterus

Ok, due to someone's demand for more specifics, here goes...

I am 12 weeks along and due June 29th. We are so so so excited! I endured about 5 weeks of mild morning sickness, but nothing worth complaining about. I have been feeling great for the past 2 weeks. But enough of the boring details; what really deserves blog time is the story of my own mother's creativity in helping us tell the family.

We wanted to tell the boys first, so we sat them down and told them at about 8 weeks. A couple days later, we took my parents out to lunch to share the news, and also told Jason's mom the same day. About a week later (the day before Thanksgiving, in fact) was our first doctor's appointment complete with our first ultrasound picture. I had told my mom about a little idea I had to bring my picture to Thanksgiving dinner and have her facilitate a game of "Guess Whose Uterus". Given the size of our family, and the many women of child-bearing age, I figured it'd make for a fair challenge. I had no idea the extent to which my mom would run with this idea.

She proceeded to spend 2-3 days compiling and photoshopping various different pictures of the family. She meticulously zoomed in and cropped out an assortment of individual body parts from different people (all appropriate, of course) - over 50 pictures in total. She then transferred them all to a slide show that could be played one by one on our TV, and made up individual score sheets for each of us. What began as a "Guess Whose Uterus" had become "Guess Whose Nose, Ear, Foot, Cuticle...etc".

Thanksgiving Day, after we had all stuffed our bellies to the point of needing medical attention, she announced that she had prepared a game for us. She led us all into the living room, sat us down in front of the TV, passed out our scorecards, and explained the rules of the game. While I sat there marveling at the time and work she had put into this, I couldn't help wondering if all my siblings were possibly questioning whether or not my mother's last shred of sanity had finally snapped under the pressure of hosting yet another Thanksgiving. We all knew this day would come, after all...

We worked our way through each picture as they were projected across the TV, pausing to debate over each one. This game was much harder than one might imagine. You may think you know your brother's ear lobes like the back of your hand, but detach them from the rest of his head and you'd be quite surprised at their lack of familiarity.

The very last photo was, of course, our ultrasound picture. I had anticipated that everyone's first thought upon seeing it would be that someone must be pregnant. After all, we've had about 1-2 pregnancies announced a year for the past 5 years. However, much to my surprise, my siblings' first thought was that this was an old ultrasound from a current niece/nephew. In fact, Meghan and Debbie both declared that they "could figure this out" and rushed up to the TV to try and read the date. I believe the conversation went something like this:

"Ok, so Nov 2009. Well, that couldn't be Sadie... or Maya... or... hey, wait... 2009!?!?!"

Once everyone knew that someone must actually be pregnant, they proceeded to grumble impatiently (we of course played along, so as not to blow our cover) while all 50+ pictures were replayed in order to reveal their correct answers. The final photo my mom put in was one of Jason and I, and thus the secret was out.

So, to my dear Mom if you are reading this, thank you so much for making our announcement so much fun! I think we should keep this idea in mind for next time someone gets a colonoscopy or something. They send you home with pictures after a colonoscopy, right?

And in Headlines Today...

One Hour 'til the Next Harvest

Ah, this is the life. Waking up at the crack of dawn for a quick breakfast before heading out to the fields. Spending the morning out under the sun, plowing your dirt and tossing your seeds. Milking the cows, then heading over to the chicken coup to check for a fresh batch of eggs. Waiting for approximately 4 hours to 4 days for your crop to be fully grown so you can go harvest your work and start all over again...

Ok, so maybe I don't know anything about real farming. And maybe it takes slightly longer than hours or days to return a good harvest. And maybe, just maybe, real farmers are more exhausted at the end of their day than I am at the end of my 10 minute FarmVille sessions throughout the day. But I have to say, the stress is getting to be unbearable. For crying out loud, strawberries only last 8 hours before they wither away!

Ok, for those of you that have not discovered the joys of FarmVille yet, I urge you to stop reading right here. You owe it to your families to not be sucked into this downward spiraling abyss that is country-living responsibility. For those of you that still doubt, here is my story:

The other night at work, I overheard two friends discussing this application on Facebook called FarmVille. One of the friends was going on and on about how ridiculous this game was, and how her husband is just obsessed with it. She started explaining the game, and telling all about how you have this virtual farm that you have to plow, then plant seeds, then wait hours for the seeds to grow, and how if you don't harvest within a certain time your plants will wither, etc. She kept stressing the fact the she just didn't see the appeal in this game, and how stupid it sounded. As I eavesdropped, I thought to myself "This...sounds...awesome!"

I more or less forgot all about the conversation until I was perusing another friend's page on Facebook a few days later, and there it was before me... a big giant turkey icon inviting me to check out FarmVille.

I clicked on it.

My life has not been the same since. I wake in the morning worrying that my crops have withered. I fall asleep at night wondering if I should get up to harvest just one more time before I turn in. I don't look at white picket fences the same way anymore, as I know now their full value (one little section costs as much as a dairy cow! who would have thought!?).

So, if any of my friends out there are wondering why they haven't heard from me or seen me in a while, now you know. I have taken up farming. And now I must be going, for my artichokes are 99% grown, and I need to harvest them while they're good and fresh.

A Tale of Excitement, Enthusiasm, and Exhaustion

T'was the night of Halloween, and all through the house
Costumes did flourish and make-up did douse ...

Nope, just don't have the brain power to do this whole story in rhyming prose. If you are judging my lack of effort right now, please see post title and refer to E-Word #3.

We started Halloween night off strong with a Vampire and a Werewolf to create. The kids were so much fun and got so into everything, not to mention their extreme patience as we meticulously painted faces, applied Vampire bite marks, dyed hair, and glued fur to a fake bone for a somewhat gruesome side prop.

Once we were finally done getting all dressed up, we set out adventurously to the streets. The kids started out as one may expect, sprinting from house to house in an effort to overfill their pillowcases with candy in record time.

Then came the hunger, and the weariness, and the cold. Paces slowed and spirits soon began to droop. Jacob, too over-encumbered to make it any further, soon passed his furry bone to Jason to carry.

Then he passed his mask. Shortly thereafter, his gloves. And when finally he could go on no longer, he entrusted his precious candy to him as well.

Caleb followed suit not long after that.

Ok, so maybe I don't have as much reason as Jason to be exhausted.

October Comes, October Goes

Fall is perhaps one of our favorite times of year, as is evidenced here, here, and here. Unfortunately, this year we fell way behind in our Fall Festivity Extravaganza. Oh we had great aspirations, there's no question there. But do you ever have one of those days (or weeks... or months...), when all of your well laid plans just unravel before you, leaving you grasping for that fleeting loose string that ever alludes you?

We kicked off October 1st with Jason catching a terrible case of the flu. I followed 2 or 3 days after. This was no run-of-the-mill, go-about-your-day-and-pretend-you're-well common cold. This was make-up-your-will-and-say-your-farewells flu. We both spent about a week couped up, drugged up, and grumpy as can be. During that week, we watched Cider Days come and go on the calender.

When we finally started feeling as though we may actually pull through and live to see Christmas, we realized we now only had 3 weeks to fit in all the Halloween hoopla that we were so looking forward to. First on the list was a trip to our favorite pumpkin patch. We loaded into the car and headed off with visions of pumpkins and gourds and hay in our heads. We got to the beloved patch only to find that it was apparently closed this year. No problem... we would be going to a corn maze next week, and they too would have a pumpkin patch. We went to the park instead, which turned out to be a pretty fun time, as always.

A few days passed before Jason was abruptly sick all over again, with seemingly the same exact thing as before. I followed 2 or 3 days after. Another week of couped up, drugged up, and grumpy as can be (I think the kids noticed the grumpy more than us). It was during this time that we noticed a bat hanging out outside our apartment door. Though I do hate bats, and would prefer to stay as far away from them as possible, I couldn't help but thinking it may have been a little wink from God. Ya know, a little taste of Halloween fun on our doorstep. Thanks God... but next time would you mind sending a cute pumpkin instead?

The following week we were again feeling well and more than ready to go jump in some leaves or play in some hay. On our calender for this week: a hayride. On God's calender for this week: our first snow storm of the year. It was beautiful. And yep, it was also enough to cancel the hayride. All turned out well though as we instead spent the evening playing a fun computer vampire game together as a family while we watched the snow. Hey, vampires are way Halloweeny, right?

With only one week left in October, we made plans to try the corn maze again. If you live in Colorado, you know that this past week has not been ideal for venturing into a corn maze. Please see evidence below:

Day 1 of snow storm (12 inches):
Day 2 of snow storm (18 inches):

Day 3 of snow storm (24 inches):
I've got to admit, seeing this much snow outside our windows left me with nothing in the world to complain about. Sure we didn't get to do all the things we had planned, but can you imagine anything more beautiful!?!? (Have I mentioned that I love the snow more than just about anything else in the world?)

SO... My lesson learned for October 2009: Don't stress over failed plans. God obviously has something better up his sleeves (and He may even send a disease-carrying, winged rodent your way to hold you over in the meantime).