The End is Near

With each passing day, I get closer and closer to the beginning of my maternity leave from my work. Due to some recent changes at my work, there's a small chance that I won't even have to return at the end of my maternity leave, or if I do, it will most likely only be for a few short weeks or months.

What does this mean for me?

Oh, more than I could possibly put into words. After 4 straight years in call center customer service (for a credit card company, nonetheless), I'm feeling slightly beat up. I think it's safe to say that there is no insult imaginable that I have not been on the receiving end of. I have mastered the art of deciphering drunken, dyslexic 16-digit card numbers through heavy accents of virtually every nationality. I have been called incompetent, useless, dim-witted, and a myriad of other such names that I don't care to put into writing.

I've been mistaken for an automated voice recording at least once a day for four years...

Me: Thank you for calling unidentified credit card company, my name is Molly, may I please have your card number?

Caller: beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beep-beep-beeeeeep

Me: Thank you for calling unidentified credit card company, my name is Molly and I am a human being, may I please verbally have your card number?

I have been threatened with litigation more times than I can count (not just against my company, oftentimes the callers specify that they intend to sue me and only me). I have been threatened with physical harm. I have been threatened with completely unknown consequences. Just a couple nights ago I had a woman hang up on me after the following closing:

Me: Thank you for calling unidentified credit card company, is there anything else I can do for you tonight?
Caller: Yes, I want my new card overnighted to me and with the same number as my old card. You have 24 hours. Goodbye. --click--

....

(She didn't give me a chance to explain that we don't overnight cards, nor would her new card share the same number. However, 48 hours have now passed and no ill fate has befallen me. That I know of.)

Many people keep telling me that I shouldn't get too excited about leaving the working world behind. I've been warned that after a few nights being up at 2am with a screaming baby, I may actually miss the simple life of the call center.

I gotta say, I'm not buying it. As it is now, I'm up at 2am most nights with screaming adults. As long as my screaming baby isn't screaming obscenities at me through a well-worn headset at 2am, I think I'll be pretty content.

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On a side note, this is not to say that all people who call into our center are complete jerks. I talk to my fair share of very polite and considerate people every day. Most days they are all that keeps me going through the bad ones. So to anyone out there reading this, I urge you to be nice to your customer service representatives. They appreciate a kind word here and there more than you know.

Eggstravaganza

There's a long standing tradition among Jason's family to turn Easter egg dying into an all day extravaganza. I am in no way exaggerating here. They get about five times as many eggs as the normal family would (a dozen a person might suffice...), spend about an hour making up every possible shade and hue of dye imaginable, and then proceed to spend hour upon hour dying each individual egg with the utmost care and creativity. I had the honor of experiencing this with Jason's dad (known as The King among Easter egg enthusiasts everywhere) for the first time last Easter. I have to admit, the title was well deserved. This was Jason's first Easter since his dad passed away late last year, so we of course wanted to honor him by carrying on the tradition. Here's some of our favorites...

SpongeBob

Made just for Baby

Ogre

Dinosaur Egg

Fire Egg

Iron Man

Plain Old Easter Egg

The Hulk (by Jacob)

When asked why Hulk had a big white circle on his chest, Jacob very matter-of-factly replied "Because, everyone knows Hulk's nipples don't turn green."

Duh...

If you weren't aware of that, perhaps you need to read up on your gamma radiation-induced mutation side effects.